ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize