So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
