I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
