brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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