I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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