everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
