I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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