That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize