Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
