I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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