whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
