Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
