Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize