12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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