And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
