Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
