i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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