Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
