I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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