I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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