i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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