Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I stole a fireplace last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
