Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
