Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
