WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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