Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
