yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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