Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
