I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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