It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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