and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
