How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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