i don't like sucking hair
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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