she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
