You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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