you turned your livingroom into a bong?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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