i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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