By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
