Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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