I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
