i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
