I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
