hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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