You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
