that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize