Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
