If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
