before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
