i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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