Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
