Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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