sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
