Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize