ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
