Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
