drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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