well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pants are for mortals
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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