There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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