1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
