how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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