your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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