So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
