I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
